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The 12th house (healing your relationship with _)

Updated: Nov 18, 2023

For this post, we are exploring the rising signs and how they pertain to fears, illusions, the things we don’t like about ourselves, the things we hide. Your rising sign starts off your chart, it signifies the 1st house. Your outlook, your personality, it is the most authentically “you” part of your chart. Though if we go backwards one sign, this is your 12th house. It’s you when no one is watching. It’s the parts of yourself (good and bad) that others don’t notice or recognize about you and you would probably prefer it that way too.

Let’s explore.

Aries risings:

You have Pisces on your 12th house. This tells us that Aries is terrified of being seen as inefficient. Aries desires to be seen as straightforward, blunt, and able– and you are. Pisces on the 12th house signifies that there are parts of you that forced you to become this way. It could have been some deep trauma that forced you to be the boss, to forage your own path, to try something new. When in fact, you are an old soul. You have seen ending after ending. There is a subconscious part of you that fears the end. So you never let it get there, you instead begin and begin and begin. This is why Aries often self sabotages by never finishing their projects– a stereotype that most Aries people hate, but it’s true– Aries hates goodbyes. They’ll chalk it up to “Oh, I just got bored” or “I found something I liked better” but this isn’t true. You never tire of a passion once you find it, though being finished with something? Or rather, someone or something being finished with you? This is something your heart can’t bear. You’re terrified of forgetfulness. You may hate this forgetfulness in others because you? You remember everything. You actually have the hardest time letting a memory go once you’ve made it. You wish for endless nights because you know you can’t recreate this exact moment again. The chains that bind you are actually nostalgia.

The Remedy:

Practice saying goodbye. Know that you can never truly feel satisfied until you do. Closure is important for you, Aries. Otherwise, how can you head into a new project or a new relationship or a new life without dragging your feet with the chains of the past? I know it hurts. I know it feels easier to be the first one to ghost, but you’ll feel lighter and more accomplished when you take the time to mend. To remember. Though, you also have to take time to forget. Maybe embrace the idea that forgetting isn’t a sign of you exhibiting carelessness or inefficiency, but rather a sign of growth. A sign that you are resilient. A sign that you are embracing the cycles and recalibration in your life force.

Taurus risings:

Taurus risings are, in some ways, opposite of Aries risings. Taurus, you have Aries on the 12th house. You are terrified of starting over. You are a garden. You cultivate, you put all of your time and energy and effort into building. You know how to invest. You are afraid of all of this hard work being for nothing. You are afraid of the newness that comes with this and the lack or loss of superiority that you feel you have earned.

It’s like when you are the top of your class at your high school for all four years. You earn your college acceptance to a fancy school, you are celebrated, maybe you are even Valedictorian. Though when you finally get to college? It’s a fresh start. No one knows you and you have no acclaim here. Maybe you are no longer the top of your class. This fear of newness, of a new experience where you feel unknown by others or like you don’t know anything? This fear of unfamiliarity is what holds you back from cultivating and investing and building everywhere you go. You hate to be somewhere you don’t know. How will you know if it matches your beliefs and your values? How will you create comfort in the uncomfortable? The chains that bind you are about risk. This is because you have the highest standards for yourself and what if you fall short? What if your self esteem takes a hit? What if you crash and burn and you wished that you had stayed in your comfort zone instead?

The Remedy:

Think about what happens if you stay where you are. You couldn’t become Valedictorian of your high school if you had never left middle school, just like you can’t become a fancy degree holder without ever leaving high school. This is just a metaphor of course, but the core of your healing starts with “What if I don’t?” Isn’t that even scarier? You can’t become brilliant and superior without trying new things, without pushing yourself to plant something new. Sure, there will be falls. There will be times when you aren’t up to your own standards– but they are your standards. Meanwhile, others are amazed that you even fucking tried. This is what it means to be successful. For you, defeating the dragon means daring to try. Plus, how will you know if you are where you want to be without ever looking outside of yourself? Maybe there is a sunnier, more fertile place to plant roots.

Gemini Risings:

You have Taurus on the 12th house. You are afraid of comfort. Others will try to reassure you, to invest in you, to grow with you. Meanwhile, you’re too busy trying to prove that you aren’t and were never worthy of that investment (even though you totally are). You are terrified of your own value, but you’re also terrified of this in others. You can’t stand the idea of unwavering love and self acceptance. You do not believe in settling on one thing or one person or dying on one hill, you think that this is a sign of ignorance. You are terrified of being seen as dull or ignorant or too consistent. You believe that knowledge is power and you are always searching for something that proves others wrong. You are afraid of an absolute truth. You know what I think though? I think that you are really trying to prove that you deserved all the times you were hurt. If you believe otherwise, how will you come to terms with the fact that you deserved better? How do you live with that knowledge? How can you ever stop it from happening again? Gemini, you are afraid of nourishment. You are afraid of letting one thing grow too much because what about all the other things? You are afraid of running out of time to explore all that could be, you are afraid of never knowing it all. Really though? You are terrified that others will have made the wrong choice by choosing you or maybe you are afraid of making the wrong choice by choosing to grow roots with someone else.

The Remedy:

Believe that you are worthy and were always worthy of love. Understand and digest the fact that you cannot survive or flourish without nurturing the root aspects of yourself. Accept that other people don’t have to change their minds as frequently as you do and that this is not a sign of ignorance, but rather a sign of love and respect and honor for you. Stop pushing others away because you believe there is better for them or better for you. It is okay to plant your feet in someone’s life and it is okay for them to plant their feet in yours. They aren’t here to gain something from you, unless it is your thoughts or your knowledge. It is also okay for others to experience an absolute truth and to remain unwavering in their love for you. Stop fighting it and don’t be so stubborn that you forget to ask for help.

Cancer risings:

You have Gemini on the 12th house. You are terrified of change. You are so comfortable in your crab shell that an opposing idea or thought or possibility is all too much. It’s like someone who ages. Each year they look in the mirror and they are someone completely new or completely different from whom they once were. Cancer is the mother, it is ruled by the moon, it is cyclical. Yet, it is also the sign of comfort and home. You will go through many cycles. You are more comfortable with the idea of letting your body change through the cycles of life as you become different versions of yourself (slowly), as long as your mind stays the same. This is not how it works, dear Cancer. You will meet opposing ideas, you will hear words you have never heard before, you will be introduced to people who actively use their knowledge as a weapon against what you have known. Cancer is so intuitive that I think it is afraid of realizing that it doesn’t know something already or rather afraid of knowing the truth altogether. You are afraid of words because this is what has made your life come crashing down before. One sentence changes your whole world when you would much rather it come gradually, like a baby that grows in your stomach for over 9 months. It isn’t black and white, it is cyclical. You are terrified of your own extremes. Of not having time to prepare. Of there being a “right answer” and a “wrong answer” instead of just a gray area, but sometimes this is how it is.

The Remedy:

Discuss. Talk. Ask questions. Not talking about something doesn’t make it go away, it just makes you anxious instead. I know you’re afraid to look, but not knowing is actually your worst enemy. Cancer self sabotages by refusing to comprehend, to know, to acknowledge. It is like going through all the trouble of interviewing for a job just to not read the acceptance letter. The best thing that you can tell yourself is: “The worst thing they can say is no.” It is okay for others to say “no” and it is also okay for you to embrace the facts. Though.. I bet if you just opened the damn letter, it would be a resounding YES. I think Cancers fear the Yes even more than the No. Having Gemini on the 12th house indicates that your thoughts are your own worst enemy, so think positively even if only to spite them.

Leo risings:

You have Cancer on the 12th house. You are afraid of cycles. You are afraid of the phases and changes and the structures you have built falling apart. Even more, you are afraid of the comfort that comes with this. You are afraid of being seen as soft. Leo is bright and brilliant and performative. Though, it is just that, a performance. No one doubts your confidence, but the truth is that you are putting on an act and a show for others. You are afraid of being seen at home. Take an actor for example: After the show is over and the audience has left, you are forced to get in your car and drive back home to be alone. You take off your makeup and your fancy costume and you no longer hear the applause of the people. Your once vibrant self is replaced with fuzzy pajama bottoms and visible blemishes on your face and a sudden craving for Chinese takeout. You are afraid of the bareness you are left with at the end of the day. No more flair and drama, just the version of you that you only let your mother see. Leo risings have a fear of the mother and the family and the home. It is where we are alone and where there is too much privacy. They are afraid of what is waiting for them in this privacy– it could be a childhood trauma that makes them long for a home and a family and a mother or perhaps it is the fear that they will never be able to protect one. Leos are protectors and providers believe it or not (Capricorn on the 6th house) but they feel like there have been times where they could not be or failed to be.

The Remedy:

Nurture something. Know that you will not fail at this like you fear you will. You are terrified that if you adopt a pet or care for a houseplant or buy a home or start a family, that you will not be able to keep this up the way it needs to be. You are afraid that it is a facade or that you only know how to “act” like you care. You are afraid that you only know how to imitate this or play a character that is nurturing, but this isn’t true. Leo is the heart. Leo is described by the ego which cares for our very survival. The ego isn’t always a bad thing, it is our will and our instinct. This is how I know that you can care beyond the applauding fans and hot stage lights. It is a strong thing to care, not an embarrassing thing. You know this at your core.

Virgo risings:

You have Leo on the 12th house. You are afraid to be known. A Virgo is so critical of itself that it is afraid of the light. It’s like making love to someone with the lights on or with a mirror on the ceiling. “Ew??? Omg, I look like THAT?” You are the only one thinking this by the way, do you really think someone would be having sex with you if they didn’t think you were fucking gorgeous? You are terrified that when someone calls you beautiful or talented or skilled or amazing that they don’t mean it. You are afraid that others are putting on a performance for you. You are also afraid that others will see through your own veil of confidence. You are a “fake it till you make it” kind of person. You have everything mapped out down to the details. You may not even notice this about yourself because the 12th house is the subconscious. Having Leo there means that your everyday life is somewhat of a performance. Virgos expel and purge things that don’t fit in their lives. This is why Virgos often struggle with upset stomachs and gut health– their fundamental existence must be matched to perfection and anything less will be emptied out of their system. You are afraid of going to the bathroom in a public place because it ruins the performance. You are all of a sudden… what? A normal human being?

The Remedy:

Instead of expelling or throwing up the parts of you that don’t fit your own version of perfection, embrace it. Make it your personality trait. Allow yourself to be seen and known and loved. Virgos hate the idea of being in the spotlight, but this is how you will see what others see. The irony is that you work to be perfect, when others already think that you are perfect. You are naturally like this, you are a Virgo rising! You don’t have to try to be a Virgo, you are one. Allow others to see you, to see your work. Allow yourself to be known for the performance and trust others when they tell you something about yourself. They mean it.

Libra risings:

You have Virgo on the 12th house. You are terrified of criticism. We often become the things that we fear— Libra often becomes critical because it is afraid that it will be criticized first. Similar to Cancer, another cardinal sign with Mercury on the 12th, Libra is afraid of knowing too much. One of your biggest fears might be knowing all the details. You are also terrified of only being known for service and what you can give. You don’t know how to receive this service, how to stop giving and stop criticizing long enough to let yourself be known for other things. These are the people pleasers, Libra loves an aesthetic and cultivates this through the 12th house, nitpicking until a brand is created. You are afraid that if you stop giving and stop pleasing, you will be nothing. This is a side effect of Pisces on the 6th house— you lack boundaries in the area of service. You are so self sacrificing that you become resentful when others don’t recognize this about you. You are terrified of failing and glitching long enough to be seen for your imperfections, to be criticized as you criticize others. There is always something to fix, it becomes so overwhelming that you are afraid things will never be perfect. You walk into a room and instead of focusing on the million things to love about that room, you find the one thing that you hate. You are afraid of disorganization. You are terrified that you will always see the cracks and that others will see through to yours too.

The Remedy:

Let someone get close enough to you to see the details, the imperfect parts. Let them love you for them anyway. Not in spite of these, but because of them. Know that your beauty is within these. You are not a fucking robot. Let yourself fail miserably and let others love you for your mistakes anyway. Think about the first time you were criticized harshly- would you do that to someone you loved? Probably not. If you would, examine how this has made you hard. Examine how others have made you feel as though you are not enough as you are. Know that mistakes are how we learn and master perfection (and even then, perfection is an illusion). Also- relish in the details, do not fear them. Knowledge is power and you can use this to your advantage. How can you turn knowledge into wisdom, into strategy, into healing? Virgo at the core of everything is a healer. Start to focus more on the things you love and find the beauty in the things you hate too.

Scorpio risings:

You have Libra on the 12th house. Sometimes it feels as though the dark has swallowed you whole and yet the most terrifying thing to you is not, in fact, what should be terrifying. You aren’t afraid of ghosts or death or sex or violence. You know these things deeper than you should. You aren’t even afraid of words or inferiority or endings or risk taking or other intangible things like the rest of the signs. Not much scares you Scorpio, some might even think you are fearless. Absolutely dauntless. Yet, I know you better than that because I am you. You are terrified of love. You are terrified of being seen as personable, relational, amorous, approachable. You are terrified of the people who see through your darkness and skip up to you like it’s nothing. You are terrified that your shell still won’t keep the people away from you. More intangibly, you are afraid of injustice. You are selective about what you give away to people and which people they happen to be. You are afraid that even with this selectivity, that you will still choose the wrong person and that they will not justify the incredible sacrifice that it is for you to open up to them. You like to do things alone. The strangest and scariest thing of all is for you to like someone. Adding someone to your circle is not an easy thing to do. Scorpio is aware of the phrase “Don’t punish new people for someone else’s actions” but whoever the fuck said that hasn’t been through what you have. Even when you start to take the advice, it’s only a matter of time before someone else hurts you too.

The Remedy:

When you start to get those icky love feelings for a friend or for a romantic interest or whatever… confess them. This might make your skin crawl or your stomach roll, but this is how you take back your power. Pretend you’re an Aries for a moment and scream “I LIKE YOU! I LIKE YOUR STUPID FACE AND I ENJOY BEING WITH YOU.” Practice living more openly because your selectivity is what actually hurts so much. I’m not saying don’t be discerning. That isn’t what I’m saying at all. I am saying that truth? Justice for all that you’ve been through? These things must come with trust first. Even if you don’t fully trust other people not to hurt you, trust your own resilience and strength enough to know that you can get through another loss. You are a Scorpio. A Scorpio’s life mission is to transform and we don’t do that without some growing pains. Enjoy the pain of love. It is a gift.

Sagittarius risings:

You have Scorpio on the 12th house. Sagittarius, you are afraid of intimacy. This is why you have a reputation for being flighty and adventurous and free and disinterested in anything but the knowledge that people possess. You are afraid of possession. Shit, it isn’t even that you’re afraid to know someone’s body and soul and mind and ambitions… but are you comfortable with letting them know yours? If you open yourself up, this person now has power over you. You aren’t terrified of holding someone else, you are afraid of being held. You don’t feel like anyone will hold you the way that you know that you can hold them. Instead, you give the illusion that you are open and careless and that you are intimate with everybody all the time. This is not true. You are Jupiter ruled, so you overshare as a distraction. You might speak of deeply philosophical and dreamy and worldly things. You like to make others feel as though they really know you when they never truly will. You are also deeply afraid of unfulfillment. It’s like, wherever you go, whatever you do.. is it ever enough? We could attribute this to Sagittarius being Jupiter ruled, expanding and expanding and never getting its fill, but then we have to remember that Scorpio rules debt and hoarding. Scorpio takes and takes and takes hoping that it can fill an emotional void. You are terrified of it never being enough. You are afraid of letting go. It doesn’t seem to matter whether you go left or right, will you ever know true fulfillment? It seems you have taken every risk in the book, but you always want more.

The Remedy:

Practice romanticizing the present. I know you have a tendency to do the opposite– romanticizing your past (Pisces on the 4th), but try to find gratitude in the tiny things. You are terrified of being swallowed whole, so practice giving away the tinier things about yourself instead of the big things. Instead of listing off your big ambitions or talking about your next project, the next time someone asks about you? Describe your favorite sandwich. In detail. Or if not a sandwich, something else that is personable. When someone asks you a question, instead of blinding them with your jovial interests and knowledge that you would normally share with anyone, tell them something you’ve never told anyone. Tell them a very obscure and personal detail about your life. Share a memory you never want to forget or tell them something you think they wouldn’t even care about. Do it for you and not for them. Never forget that it isn’t your fault if others hold these things over you, keep sharing anyway. This is how we keep memory alive. This is how we build intimacy, Sagittarius. We tell stories about ourselves (and not the same ones that we’ve told over and over again).

Capricorn risings:

You have Sagittarius on the 12th house. You are terrified of belief. Or rather, someone coming in to shatter the beliefs that you presently hold. You are stuck to these because Capricorn has a tendency to restrict itself. It is difficult to think about risk taking for you. You like to know how things are going to turn out before they happen. You are afraid of going too fast, of taking a chance, of unpredictability, you are afraid of freedom. You like to be bound to things and people by responsibility and duty. You struggle to embrace the experience of something. You like to provide and protect and when you aren’t able to do this for someone? You feel like a failure. You are unable to experience failure. Even more, you are allergic to optimism. You think it’s foolish and childish to believe in something bigger than you, to leave your comfort zone and to love, love, love. You think that love is only love when it looks and feels tangible and attainable. You are afraid of possibility. You are terrified of doing things that you have never done before and you’re terrified of others doing those things too. You don’t like it when other people have big dreams and goals that feel impractical to you, this roots from disbelief in yourself and in others. You struggle with faith, trust, and pixie dust. You don’t believe in fairies. You are paralyzed by the childhood you didn’t get to experience, coming out of the womb already an adult (or expected to be). Or if that isn’t the case, you were probably sheltered so much that you want to be seen as anything but a child. You are afraid of the wisdom that children hold.

The Remedy:

Hang out with an Aries. Or a Sagittarius. Or a Leo. They’ll trigger you, but this is what you need. If this isn’t available to you or is perhaps too unbearable, spend time with a child. Preferably not one that you are responsible for. Observe how they don’t worry about what they look like or what will happen tomorrow. Ask them about their dreams and don’t laugh at them. Take them seriously and encourage them. If they want to be a singer, don’t roll your eyes and mutter something about the fuckedupness of the music industry and the impossibility of it all. Imagine them being a singer someday because I bet they’ll do something that amazing. Don’t let the reasoning for their success be to spite you, but instead because you believed in them. Beyond that, romanticize someone or something without giving them anything. Dare to experience something that you’re terrible at, but that feels enjoyable. Relish in the pleasure of succeeding at being awful at something. Find success in failure.

Aquarius risings:

You have Capricorn on the 12th house. You are afraid of responsibility. You are afraid of being boxed in. You are afraid of being restricted by other people, by your clothes, by your choices. Restriction is uncomfortable and you will do anything to get out of those confines. Even if it means becoming a stereotypical commitment-phobe. Structure is limiting for you and it doesn’t aid you in the way it does for others. You will shoot through every glass ceiling without ever considering the shattered trail you leave behind you and who that might cut. Yet, weirdly, you still care for and are concerned about those that are hurt. This is why these scenarios are so nightmarish for you. You believe in a cause which is why you do this, but there is a ruthlessness to your approach. You are afraid of what happens if you aren’t ruthless. Will you be trapped? Perhaps. I picture you as a person on the train in the winter. You are trapped inside closed doors with several layers and thermals and about a million coats on, you can’t breathe under the weight and warmth of this and you’re overheating. Do you stay on the train and get to work on time? Or do you get off and undress until you’re not having a panic attack anymore? You’ll be late to work, but is it worth it? Or maybe for Aquarius risings, the coats aren’t the trap. It is the work itself. Feeling bound by this uncomfortability due to your responsibilities. You are afraid of drowning in overcommitment.

The Remedy:

Learn to work with and not against the systems you are confined to (and we are all a little confined to something, sometimes). Responsibility doesn’t always have to be a trap, it can be empowering, freeing. Maybe this means you undress while you’re still on the train instead of getting off completely. If you have to work at all, then maybe find the work that is independent and so interesting to you that your responsibilities don’t feel like them at all. This is the sign that needs to find responsibilities they enjoy. Maybe you can commit to the things that feel essential. Capricorn and Aquarius are both ruled by Saturn which governs the bare necessities. Try to commit to one thing at a time. Don’t fear the loss of freedom that this might entail, find the responsibilities that do in fact, feel like freedom. How can you liberate yourself with choices? How can you follow directions while still finding the loopholes? Aquarius is Saturn with a twist! Embrace. Transcend.

Pisces risings:

You have Aquarius on the 12th house. You are terrified of being bold. You have a tendency to want sweetness, shyness, gentleness. Erratic changes and radical uprisings shake you at your core. As a Pisces, you are the lamb, but you never want to become the black sheep. You are afraid of being outcast, alone. Aquarius does best in an empty room- from almost nothing they create and reform this empty room into a kitchen- able to collaborate with different tastes and random food items that should not fit together- but they make them fit through some strange innovation. It isn’t that you aren’t imaginative enough for this because you are plenty imaginative, it’s that there’s something terrifying about being so different that there is possibility for embarrassment. Or perhaps it’s the passivity that deters you from acting on these ideas. You have ideas, ideas, ideas- but putting them into practice is terrifying. Sometimes I think of Pisces as someone with a school girl crush on someone and they’ll dream and dream but never let anyone know that they have feelings that transcend time and space. It is terrifying to tell people your dreams and it’s even more terrifying that someone might laugh at them or maybe they’ll never feel as deeply as you do.

The Remedy:

Know that not all of your dreams are impossible fantasies. Think of your dreams as premonitions. As declarations. As messages from God or The Universe or Fate or Gaia. Aquarius is a visionary because it is ruled by Uranus represented by flashes of insight into the future. You can see the future, Pisces. If you’d trust in your own desires, you would see they are divine guidance. Act on them because dreams are only dreams without someone to breathe life into them. Understand that Aquarius is backed by a community, it is a sign of friendship and support. You will find support from the people who are in your best interest. If you aren’t afforded that support, these aren’t the people you want carrying out your grand visions. Share among the masses, you will find your community.


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