The 12th house (healing your relationship with _)
For this post, we are exploring the rising signs and how they pertain to fears, illusions, the things we don’t like about ourselves, the things we hide. Your rising sign starts off your chart, it signifies the 1st house. Your outlook, your personality, it is the most authentically “you” part of your chart. Though if we go backwards one sign, this is your 12th house. It’s you when no one is watching. It’s the parts of yourself (good and bad) that others don’t notice or recognize about you and you would probably prefer it that way too.
You have Pisces on your 12th house. This tells us that Aries is terrified of being seen as inefficient. Aries desires to be seen as straightforward, blunt, and able– and you are. Pisces on the 12th house signifies that there are parts of you that forced you to become this way. It could have been some deep trauma that forced you to be the boss, to forage your own path, to try something new. When in fact, you are an old soul. You have seen ending after ending. There is a subconscious part of you that fears the end. So you never let it get there, you instead begin and begin and begin. This is why Aries often self sabotages by never finishing their projects– a stereotype that most Aries people hate, but it’s true– Aries hates goodbyes. They’ll chalk it up to “Oh, I just got bored” or “I found something I liked better” but this isn’t true. You never tire of a passion once you find it, though being finished with something? Or rather, someone or something being finished with you? This is something your heart can’t bear. You’re terrified of forgetfulness. You may hate this forgetfulness in others because you? You remember everything. You actually have the hardest time letting a memory go once you’ve made it. You wish for endless nights because you know you can’t recreate this exact moment again. The chains that bind you are actually nostalgia.
Practice saying goodbye. Know that you can never truly feel satisfied until you do. Closure is important for you, Aries. Otherwise, how can you head into a new project or a new relationship or a new life without dragging your feet with the chains of the past? I know it hurts. I know it feels easier to be the first one to ghost, but you’ll feel lighter and more accomplished when you take the time to mend. To remember. Though, you also have to take time to forget. Maybe embrace the idea that forgetting isn’t a sign of you exhibiting carelessness or inefficiency, but rather a sign of growth. A sign that you are resilient. A sign that you are embracing the cycles and recalibration in your life force.
Taurus risings are, in some ways, opposite of Aries risings. Taurus, you have Aries on the 12th house. You are terrified of starting over. You are a garden. You cultivate, you put all of your time and energy and effort into building. You know how to invest. You are afraid of all of this hard work being for nothing. You are afraid of the newness that comes with this and the lack or loss of superiority that you feel you have earned.
It’s like when you are the top of your class at your high school for all four years. You earn your college acceptance to a fancy school, you are celebrated, maybe you are even Valedictorian. Though when you finally get to college? It’s a fresh start. No one knows you and you have no acclaim here. Maybe you are no longer the top of your class. This fear of newness, of a new experience where you feel unknown by others or like you don’t know anything? This fear of unfamiliarity is what holds you back from cultivating and investing and building everywhere you go. You hate to be somewhere you don’t know. How will you know if it matches your beliefs and your values? How will you create comfort in the uncomfortable? The chains that bind you are about risk. This is because you have the highest standards for yourself and what if you fall short? What if your self esteem takes a hit? What if you crash and burn and you wished that you had stayed in your comfort zone instead?
Think about what happens if you stay where you are. You couldn’t become Valedictorian of your high school if you had never left middle school, just like you can’t become a fancy degree holder without ever leaving high school. This is just a metaphor of course, but the core of your healing starts with “What if I don’t?” Isn’t that even scarier? You can’t become brilliant and superior without trying new things, without pushing yourself to plant something new. Sure, there will be falls. There will be times when you aren’t up to your own standards– but they are your standards. Meanwhile, others are amazed that you even fucking tried. This is what it means to be successful. For you, defeating the dragon means daring to try. Plus, how will you know if you are where you want to be without ever looking outside of yourself? Maybe there is a sunnier, more fertile place to plant roots.
You have Taurus on the 12th house. You are afraid of comfort. Others will try to reassure you, to invest in you, to grow with you. Meanwhile, you’re too busy trying to prove that you aren’t and were never worthy of that investment (even though you totally are). You are terrified of your own value, but you’re also terrified of this in others. You can’t stand the idea of unwavering love and self acceptance. You do not believe in settling on one thing or one person or dying on one hill, you think that this is a sign of ignorance. You are terrified of being seen as dull or ignorant or too consistent. You believe that knowledge is power and you are always searching for something that proves others wrong. You are afraid of an absolute truth. You know what I think though? I think that you are really trying to prove that you deserved all the times you were hurt. If you believe otherwise, how will you come to terms with the fact that you deserved better? How do you live with that knowledge? How can you ever stop it from happening again? Gemini, you are afraid of nourishment. You are afraid of letting one thing grow too much because what about all the other things? You are afraid of running out of time to explore all that could be, you are afraid of never knowing it all. Really though? You are terrified that others will have made the wrong choice by choosing you or maybe you are afraid of making the wrong choice by choosing to grow roots with someone else.